Final version of the banner I submitted for the AVEN WorldPride banner contest.
Now with 75% better readability of what it’s representing!
ace up your sleeve
Apr 24
Apr 20
Progress
This is a post I conceived of a while back but never got around to making.
Asexuality has existed as a cohesive and community-based identity for about 12 years, largely centered around the Internet to bring together scattered individuals. In those twelve years, aces have gotten a documentary as well as a textbook (which I hope will be good!) and a number of papers. Asexuality has been covered in The Atlantic, The Guardian, and the BBC, as well as on some fairly large feminist blogs. Aces have marched in pride parades and participated at MBLGTACC and the Creating Change Conference. Aces have liaised with the Trevor Project, a suicide prevention hotline, to help them acquire asexuality-related materials. Aces have met up dozens or hundreds of times around the world, including an annual weekend in England. A number of cities, and university campuses, have local asexuality groups.
Not bad for 12 years. Something to think about when you encounter negativity.
Apr 19
Media imagery of asexuality
background images from articles in Nerve, Marie Claire, and Folha.
There’s been a recent discussion about the cover of a potential asexual romance anthology, The Heart of Aces. Everything has already been said, but it reminded me of something else that I wanted to do. So here’s an analysis of the imagery that the media considers appropriate to accompany articles about asexuality, because they seem to fall into a few camps, and maybe I can learn something from this. I’ll link the articles, but this isn’t a critique of what they wrote; I’m interested in the types of visuals they use. And after each category I’m going to make a comment on what I think I learned about asexuality from the image and (for the asexually-uninformed) why I feel it does or doesn’t work, in the unlikely event that there are people who are madly Googling right now to try to find inspiration for the kind of photos to accompany their asexuality media piece.
For those of you who are more visually inclined, I have made an easy to use rating system on how these visual representations make this individual ace feel, because otherwise someone confused is going to come along and miss the bloody point:
Analysis below the cut.
Apr 17
You can also listen to this while looking at this. (Have fun getting THAT outta your head.)
Apr 14
I don’t see much demisexual related art out there, so I thought I’d make a little something for myself. <3
I’m really happy to announce that Trevor Project will be including some training materials about asexuality and asexual issues for their staff and volunteers. The Trevor Project offers 24 hour 7 day a week telephone counseling services to youth who are struggling with crisis and thoughts of suicide. In addition they have an online anonymous advice message system for non-crisis issues surrounding gender and sexual identity. The staff and volunteers who provide advice and support will now have access to and training on ace positive information.
This is huge and is great inclusion by the Trevor Project! Suicide prevention among youth of all gender and sexual minorities and the other work that Trevor Project does is critical. Suicide has touched many of us in some way. Now there is a place for ace, grey-a, aromantic, and demisexual people to seek help when they are in crisis. The Trevor Project crisis line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-866-488-7386.
Now is the time to spread this information across our community so that everyone knows. I’ve attached a few graphics: two purple Trevor Project logos and a two of their own graphics. Note: Trevor’s logo color is primarily orange; I made purple graphics instead of orange/purple ones for color clashing reasons.
If you have a blog, website, tumblr, or other web presence, you can use these graphics to spread the word. I know that we can get this information across our community very quickly and let everyone know that there is help and hope when they feel alone. If you have a blog or tumblr, please write about this to spread the word. I’m also adding the info to my AVEN signature and my Facebook page.
The materials that were created for Trevor Project’s training manual are available here. Originally I intended to have them be produced via a community project but I wasn’t able to get that together in time (I’m sorry :( ). Producing more documents like this one is a goal of mine over the summer, so anyone who is interested in that should send me a message. If you would like to thank the Trevor Project, I suggest using their Facebook page or their Twitter feed (I don’t think they have a Tumblr, but maybe I’m wrong…).
Apr 10
You’re welcome.
Mar 17
An asexy neon sign flickers outside a bar downtown?
Okay, I usually just post pictures, and this one’s a little odd and a lot long, but hear me out. I can’t get my thoughts together and I need opinions that aren’t mine.
I have some quotes:
“It wouldn’t surprise me to see a rash of asexual non-dating bars opening on the First Avenue and the waterfront in the near future – places where people of different asexual persuasions stare at each other and keep their rocks on.”
’Asexuality: Everybody’s Not Doing It’
Arthur Bell, January 25, 1978, the Village Voice
“Not long ago a man told me of a woman who went to an “asexual bar” to pick up men because she could be sure there was no risk of any human involvement. I thought he was joking, but now it seems entirely probable that “asexual bars” will sprout in cities to accomodate the growing demand for places where people who want to be alone can do so with people like themselves.”
’A Nation Drifts Into Loneliness’
Russell Baker, May 13, 1978, New York Times
“Q- I suppose you A’s tend to hang around together?
A- Naturally. There’s hardly a community in the land these days that doesn’t have its A restaurants, A bars and A motels.
Q- And what do you do in these places?
A- Eat, drink and sleep.”
’Asexual Militancy’
Art Hoppe, November 10, 1979, Spokane Daily Chronicle
“it was abroad, probably 44th Street in New York, the bar for asexuals, to which one of Zachler’s secretaries had dragged me since at that time it was brand new and you just had to have seen it — men and women who somehow had it behind them and were sociably relaxing from each other. It was already a favourite meeting-place and the room was full to bursting.”
Rumour
Botho Strauß, 1980 (translated from German by Michael Hulse: Tumult, 1984)
“With the Herpes Holocaust under way, “asexual” bars are popular. Here you can pick up partner who wants a platonic relationship. (From the eyebrows up.) Suitable topics of conversation include your cholesterol level, clitoral alienation, cat collection, earlobe droop, ego income and repressed hostility.”
’They All Say It - If Only They Meant It’
Kathy Lette, January 21, 1983, Sydney Morning Herald
What do these quotes have in common? They are all from the 70s-80s and they all reference/satirize the idea of a bar for asexual people. And they are all - with the exception of the fictional interview by Art Hoppe which does not focus on any one location - place these bars in New York City. This includes the one from the Sydney Morning Herald, which is an article about visiting NYC, and the one in a German novel, which is just a casual mention in case you were adding it to your reading list.
I’ll level with you. I don’t actually believe there was an asexual bar in New York in the late seventies, and I will not believe otherwise unless presented with some pretty strong evidence. The present asexual identity didn’t really exist then, so we’d be talking about something a little foreign to us anyway. Who knows why all these different people honed in on this idea at this time? Did one of them inspire all the others, or was the timing somehow right? The sexual revolution was in full swing… and the AIDS epidemic wasn’t recognized until 1981. (I bring up the threat of AIDS because it does come up in the context of choosing celibacy, and celibacy by choice has often been conflated with asexuality, especially in a pre-asexual identity world, although you can be one, the other, or both (or obviously neither). The “Herpes Holocaust” mentioned above has this same trend, as the 70-80s was a time when herpes became more widely spread and stigmatized. Diseases have a significant cultural impact.)
Is it possible that there was a bar in New York for people who didn’t want to be picked up by other people? I don’t see why not, but that doesn’t make it an asexual bar per se. Closer to the Diogenes Club, really. Well not really really, I just wanted to say that. But you get my meaning: some asexual people date, cuddle, have sex, and so on, so a “non-dating bar” isn’t accurately an ace bar.
My question is, is it so ludicrous, an asexual bar? I mean, I get it, “oh ha ha, the repressed virgins are going to get together and talk about their cats”, well done, truly the pinnacle of humour, but that isn’t what I’m talking about. Forget the 1% numbers game for a moment, and look at it from a theoretical point of view. I think I would like bars more if I wasn’t likely to be hit on with intent, but that is probably more the quirky aromantic in me talking. Because. Shit. Does this make me terrible? I like those dynamic-chemistry-battle-of-wits moments, but I guess this is read as flirting and I loathe leading people on. So I generally don’t ‘flirt’ at all, I’m quite cagey, and I need a better strategy than avoiding the issue.
That and the fact that it doesn’t take someone exactly like me to want to go to a bar or a club or a pub to just be social without taking it further. There are lots of people who like to do this for assorted reasons; aceness isn’t the only factor here. I’m not looking to hang out with aces only, I just dream of any sort of space where my orientation isn’t virtually unknown or misunderstood.
Anyway, I’ll leave you with this last quote because it is flamingly ace, and New York is clearly the heart of the asexual empire:
“When my studies took me to New York, I got more involved with the asexual community there. I posted messages on their website and there were regular meet-ups in a little pink tea shop in the East Village - I guess you could call it the asexual equivalent of a gay bar.”
’We’re married, we just don’t have sex’
Paul Cox, September 8, 2008, The Guardian
So tell me: would an asexual bar or café or tea shop mean anything to you, or are things good for you the way they are?
Mar 02
Why yes, yes I did crochet myself a truly awesome ace pride hat. It is wool and warm and now my best and most versatile hat. It can be all the sizes I could possibly need. Such as the size to fit over my bunned mohawk without looking like I have a mutant lump, as seen here.
Here’s the pattern I used, for anyone interested.
Feb 20
I have a photo of me wearing it in my home town’s Pride, and also of it in London Pride. I’m also the one who first put the flag up on wiki I think, unless someone else did and it was taken down real fast.
I mean, honestly, this is OUR flag, surely we’re the ones who get to say if it’s a real thing or not, not some moderator who doesn’t know cake from pie.
I know I’m reblogging myself but…. I fixed it. I get their point about relying on online references, and not just for the flag, so I just…. well. Hopefully it’ll stay up this time, referenced some of the links above along with some of the original ones and a couple new ones.
But, um, our flag is back up on our wiki page! As it should be cause it’s our own bloody flag.
They keep taking out all the references, then saying “Citation Needed”. GRRR. It hurts my head. Anyone writing an article or a book on this topic will be using those very blogs and forum posts as the source of their information. So, if they’re inaccurate, then the book will be inaccurate, too.
On the other hand, if I ever do get around to writing a book on asexuality, I know for certain that it will include a section on the flag.
EDIT: I went ahead and wrote that post earlier than I planned. Feel free to try to use it as a source: http://www.asexualityarchive.com/the-asexuality-flag/
Yesss. Thanks so much to both of you. Here’s hoping it isn’t taken down as there is an aversion to original research on Wikipedia, and I’ve been looking for ‘reliable’ sources (the news is always dead reliable, as you know) that describe the flag but so far no dice, so having the Archive page is good.
(Source: aceupyoursleeve)
